7 months

Has gone by.

Back on thirds, and it feels good to be back. Got a promotion, so that's good. And there's a possibility that I'll be getting another one soon. Hopefully that works out.

Filler came over this weekend... sucks because I didn't get to see much of him. But all is good. We talked, went for a ride today (being Monday... I'm still awake).

The only thing I miss about being on 1st shift is that I could get out of work at 2 and have the rest of my day to chill and hang out with people.

Oh, and no boyfriend.... it's been a while.


Yeah.

Still in need of a confidence boost.... but maybe just a little one.

A lot has happened

It's been quite some time since my last post. Over a year I think. I have a boyfriend. But he's in Afghanistan... and I've never met him... met him online. He was supposed to be done this year, but he's reenlisting for 3 more years. I don't know if I can deal with that. There's a guy that likes me here in Holland, and he's a great guy... real cool. I can see things happening with him. I'm not on third shift anymore... I'm on 1st. New position, grocery DSD... checking in vendors... it's east, boring, interesting all at the same time. I miss everyone on 3rd shift though, I don't get to hang out as much as I used to... saddens me. I don't have many friends that work my schedule. So I still have no life. Boring.....

I hope for more out of my life... because right now I feel as though I'm in a rut, and a I'm stuck, and not getting anywhere..... I almost feel as though I've failed at things....


I
...need

a.....
CONFIDENCE



...boost....

Things are ok, I suppose.

Jess left home again. I don't know what she's doing or thinking.... I wasn't there when it happened. Prayers are welcome.

I work everyday of the week...suckfest!

Blah...

My foot...

So yeah, Monday April 30, I broke my foot at Crazy Bounce....and it sucks. Can't work. Can't walk. Can hardly drive. My sister is staying with me and helping me out at my house. My parents got us some groceries so we have good, which I'm so thankful for!!! Half of my foot is blue and purple, and my toes are like little Jimmy Dean sausages:( You don't know what kind of things you take for granted like walking until you can't, or opening and walking through doors or going to the bathroom with ease....

But, I will be singing on Sunday, so yeah!!!

_Your new "Gimp"

You Are Indigo

Of all the shades of blue, you are the most funky, unique, and independent. Expressing yourself and taking a leap of faith has always been easy for you.

What Color Blue Are You?

It's...ok for now.

So this past week had been a downer.

Things with Jessi are rough. She's still not home.

Nate broke up with me, and I'm ok with it...it's just that I don't know why. I still love him. And I would take him back, but on some stipulations. I miss him so much, I always had so much fun with him, I felt safe with him, wanted, loved...and now I feel so alone. So empty.

I don't know what to think of things.....

I'm finishing the move this weekend. I'm excited.

I hung out with Stephanie from work yesterday, watched Marie Antoinette. It was alright, the ending sucked though.

Have to work tonight, so yeah......that's that. We'll see how things with Nate go. See if he talks to me.



.i.miss.you.

12

It's been a while.

Today I received 12 red roses from Nate. I thought that was really nice. I got him an orange rose and a silver chain necklace. After I bought the rose, I thought to myself, why didn't I get a red one??? Anywho, I don't exactly know how he feels about the necklace, because he said he liked it, but his face said otherwise.

I will be moving out hopefully at the end of the month in to my trailer that I'm way stoked about!! Whoo hoo!!! I'll post some pictures when I get some of the finished place.

MMmmmmblaaahhh....

That's how I feel right now.

I started VLI (Vineyard Leadership Institute) on Thursday. A two hour long lecture on a video from 7-9 pm. It was rough the first time, I was half falling asleep due to lack-there-of. I felt kind of bad about it too. I don't know. Friday, I had mentoring with Pastor Paul, which was good, I liked that. Now, I have to do some reading like bad, and what ever other homework I have to do for Thrusday, and I have to come up with a 15 minute sermon from 3-5 verses, that I have to do on Friday. Dustin and I have to do it this week, and Trevor and Eric the next....so, we'll see if I can put my speech class to work. Visual aids? Is that necessary for this project thing that I have to do.

But other than that, Saturday morning, I went skating with Nate and my mom. My mom had come from a hair cut, and did a few rounds, and then got off the floor. She was using her 40 year old skates that she got when she was 16 from her aunt. Those things are ancient. They were hurting her feet, so that's understandable. Not to mention, the last time she was on skates, she went head first in to the brick wall by the D.J. booth. Long story, ask her about it....haha. After that, we all went shopping, and then to Fennville to get my cousin. My aunt wasn't feeling too good, so we got the baby for a few hours. When we got back, we went to sleep, and woke up late. We were two hours late for work....blah!!! It's all good though.

I worked pop and water last night. That was cool, I like it over there. Lots of time to think, and not be bothered by people. Mmhmm. Nate was in paper goods and chemicals, which is right near pop and water. So that was cool. I could just yell if I wanted to say anything to him. He went to church with a friend from work. I visited that church before, and wasn't too fond of it. Although, I'm not real fond of her either. I was a little bothered by it, and I think I got a little jealous. I felt horrible about it too. I didn't say anything to him, but I'm going too. He asked me what was wrong at break, and I said nothing. I didn't want to cause a big scene at work.

I got a word a few weeks ago from my dad (I think I mentioned that before)about a series of tests that are coming up, and I think that this was one of them. I told my mom and dad that it was bothering me. My mom suggested that I tell him, and let him know. We need to be able to talk about anything. So, I'll step out on a limb, and tell him. After going to church, I felt much better, just a little tired. It was a good service. God was there, but, when isn't He??? Am I right?

Anywho, I came home, my sister went to my grandparent's house, and my parents went grocery shopping. I watched Avatar, and did the dishes while singing to Flyleaf. They are pretty good, I think they are a Christian band, they have good messages to their songs. Check them out!

This post is for Eric's mom (please forgive me, I forgot your name!!) and Matt, since they are the only ones who said anything about me not posting for a while.

Also, sorry for the lack of pictures, I've been lazy about charging my battery, and I just got it charged. More pictures to come!!!

Peace!